ON 11-29-2016 I met with some lovely Moms and Dads all congregants from the Reformed Temple of Rockland County, NY. I was thrilled to share my Power Point geared to educators and parents. When we spoke of the hormonal changes, specifically how boys separate, pull in, become more private, and girls circle around, pull back, but don’t quite separate, I got some knowing nods and groans! Peers become so much more central to their teens lives for affirmation, validation, attention and help!
How to maintain a connection with your kids, while they’re pulling away?
I introduced the concept of Aerial Parenting, from my book, What Do You Expect? She’s A Teenager! Rising above, coming from a place of love, seeing the bigger picture, their teen’s life on a timeline, that teens years are phaze driven, not forever. There was a sigh of relief. But what about now, how to get through and be their rock, their North Star, a facilitator to run by all of their concerns, questions, issues, especially what they’re doing online?
Briefly, learning and being a very “intune finger on your kids pulse” parent, with your child/teen and the pop culture trends, spares your child/teen of some over the top risky behavior. We spoke about Internet premature exposure to porn at the age of 11, cyberbullying, teens setting up fake accounts, sexting, oral sex, when to sound your parental alert to specific emotional behavior changes, their acting out of control.
I reiterated and reassured the Moms and Dads, When in doubt be full of faith and hope! Teen years are not forever, it’s phaze driven. I raised two delicious very launched young adult children, a daughter now 27 and a married son now 34!
My Positive Aerial Life Coaching tips/strategies for ongoing conversations with your Teen:
- *Trust your gut and teach your teen to trust their gut
- *Make your child/teen part of the solution
- *Be invitational, flexible, patient, kind
- *Come from a place of love and concern
- *Let them talk
- *Answer their Why?
- *Affirm, Validate, Reinforce their mattering to you
- *Build Confidence, Resilience, Faith in themselves
- * Learn from Making mis-takes, try again till you understand
- *Listen and Learn from each other
- *Focus on their Health, Safety, and Welfare
- * Age Appropriate Expectations with Age Appropriate Limits and Boundaries
The questions were great especially navigating power struggles, trust and understanding their teens needs for space. I loved to hear how some of the teens were very close to their parents, reassuring for me.
One Dad made a comment about his teens being very close and open with strong parental internet supervision in a family communal space.
Great, I said. I love hearing that. But what about their friends? How can you be a 24/7 cop? Ergo the strong need for ongoing conversations, which I believe was happening in this family.
I can’t wait to give “YOUR HORMONES TEENS AND SOCIAL MEDIA” WORKSHOP to the students at the Reformed Temple of Rockland County Tuesday January 31, 2017.